Moments

At the start of the year, I made a silent vow to be more involved with my family. So in almost all occasions this year, may it be big or small, I made a sincere effort to be around and make my presence felt. I must say that I am quite pleased with the results of this decision. Not only did I rescue myself from the eternal guilt of being an absentee family member (father, sibling, son and all), I also succeeded in including myself with some of the moments and experiences my family will forever remember and treasure.

I must admit, at first, I thought I am doing my family a favor by being their driver, host, sponsor, supporter, additional help or headcount and what have you in all those occasions. Little did I know that it will be me who will enjoy each and every moment the most. Little did I realize that there is still as much growth and learning to find within my family as there is with my work and the life outside it.

Jeio's 3rd birthday

An afternoon at Fun Ranch

Jianna's Christening

Jianna at the hospital

UN Day at Jeio's School

In an inflatable playpen at SM Baguio

At Strawberry Farm

At Club Manila East

Team "Love More"

Team "Love More"

At Ans' Wedding

To Bora Peak

At Bora Peak


At Macau Tower

At HK Ngong Ping

At HK Kowloon Bay

Thanks to my entire family:) I am looking forward to spend more moments with you this coming year!

Update

I realized the first 6 months of my so-called new life is about to close. The ride was so surreal and so exciting I barely noticed the time pass by.

Here are some of the things I learned so far, in no order of importance:

1. Cebu Pac Go-lite is right. It's better to go w/o baggages.
2. You can still build new friendships even in your late 20s.
3. Work-life balance is for real, not just a concept.
4. Joining the rat race is a choice..
5. Don't be negligent in trusting. See those big companies crumble?
6. A house is not an investment.
7. Choose Mutual funds on the basis of risk you can take.
8. Happy wife. Happy me.
9. Let go of the not-so-good stuff in life to give space for better things.
10. Help comes in many form. Discern on what others/you really need.
11. Do not forget your mistakes in the past.
12. Routine ain't bad. Coffee on Sundays w/ wife & bud ain't bad at all.
13. You will not lose anything if you give compliments everyday.
14. Use simple words as much as possible.
15. Don't sell your credentials. Let your work do the talking.
16. Friends are friends forever until you decide otherwise.
17. Invest now. "It's not about timing but a matter of time."
18. Write down as many dreams as you can. See how it feels.
19. Keep track of your successes in life. Celebrate it.
20. If beer is bitter to your taste, it means you don't need to drink.
21. "One for the road" means 3 beers, at least.
22. There is joy in going to an out-of-the-country trip without itinerary.
23. Keep a picture of your kid/wife. It can keep you sane.
24. Love life and it will love you back.
25. Learn to be comfortable with your own skin as you age.
26. A fancy dinner date never goes unnoticed.
27. Give back.
28. Share and donate.
29. Learn. Share some learnings, if you must, but do not preach.
30. Remember your roles (father, brother) & be reminded of your worth.

I must admit I am enjoying my life now. I am looking forward to the next 6 months.

II

Chapter 2 of my so-called 2nd life officially begins!

Today

The WAIT is almost over. I just received two great options last week - an offer from the Telecom Industry and another from Financial Security. Coming from FMCG, I would naturally lean towards Telecom which behaves and acts like FMCG in many ways than one. It is also a familiar territory with many of my peers from previous companies crossing fence to this industry and thriving. Several marketing people from my industry have also proven their worth in taking top management posts in this one.

However, after eight years of marketing experience in FMCG, the other option is getting to be more attractive to me. Maybe it is because I feel I already "graduated" from my current industry, earning a great share of bruises and badges from it. Maybe it is also because I am looking for a life-changing course at this point in my life. And truth be told, after my sabbatical, it has become clear to me where I want spend my next 5-10 years of professional life; in a company where people stay, grow and flourish together with my family, and it is in this one where I think I will find it.

Today I will sign the contract.

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"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference"

Waiting

It is clear to me now where I want to go. I have already cleared my head to know what I really want. I also have a good idea on how to get there. But as to when I should go there, I guess I just have to be contented in waiting for now.

Then again, waiting is not exactly my closest friend. So while waiting for the right time to come, I will keep myself busy doing other little things I want to do. And hopefully, at the chosen time, I will feel glad I have waited.

Pat. Pat. You will have your time, mister.

Surrender

I am determined to adopt a newly understood virtue in my life --- the often feared and misconstrued surrender. For an old dog like me, and a control freak at that, I must admit the process is quite slow and agonizing. Thanks to my wife and a recent experience, I was pushed against the wall to appreciate this virtue and the goodness it can bring to my life.

Letting go of the things I have been holding on for so long has been the biggest challenge for me so far. However, I come to realize that before I get to hold on to new and better things, I have to open my hands and let go of everything. It may be true I have been holding on to many a treasure but I must admit I have also been holding a lot of worms. These worms have been making me live the kind of life a lot lesser than me and my family deserve.

I do pray that once I have cleared my hands of everything and cleansed it, I will be able to pick up the things I truly treasure and still have room to pick new and better things. To bene vita.

Name

I just stumbled into this link. The meaning of my name may be a mouthful but I tend agree with what is mostly written...
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What JOUB Means

You are fair, honest, and logical.
You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem.
You are great at giving other people advice.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable.
You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious.
You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are a very lucky person.
Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries.
You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy.
Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are full of energy.
You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring.
You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble.
You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/outcome.php

Better

My so called "new life" started more than a month ago. But reality kicks in and I am made to realize I do not have a new body to start with it. I am 28 and yet I already have worn out eyes, wearing special glasses for my high astigmatism. I have recurrent neck, shoulder and backpain that needs massaging every other week to lessen the tension. My knees, ankles and neck joints are clicking like I already have arthritis. I easily get exhausted. I am battling with the bulge with my tummy growing bigger every year. My memory is also failing me from time to time and it is harder to focus on what I am doing more than ever.

My battle plan: Consider lasik for my eyes. Stick to my diet and exercise program to fight body atrophy. Read. Read. Read. Brush up on my grammar, vocabulary and general knowledge. Join a retreat. Write things down to lessen forgetfulness.

I may not have a new body for this new life but let me start by making whatever I have better:) It will be such a waste if my own body will prevent me from living a better life.

Moment

"Dad, are you okay?", my three-year old son worriedly asked me.
I didn't realize I was already deep in thought, thinking of a better life I want to provide my family, when he blurted this. I was driving to the mall this morning with him in tow. There must have been ten minutes of awkward silence in the car as my mind wandered off, that made him worry.

I pulled over the car to the side of the road and looked at him dearly.
"Dad is okay. Thank you," then I moved him and the carseat from the back to sit next to me.

I continued driving off to the supermarket as I held my son's hand and patted his shoulder, realizing there is no better place to be at that moment than to be where I am.

Home

I always thought my house is clean and well kept. When I think of my house, images of immaculate floor, clean curtains, fresh linens, well-maintained furnitures and appliances come to mind.

After more than a month of sabbatical and spending more time in the house, it is only now that I noticed the many signs of deterioration and unkeptness. It is just three years old and yet the walls need paint job, especially the borders at the bottom. The glass windows need major cleaning from grime and the window screens need scrubbing from dust that accumulated for almost a year now. The cupboard, sink cabinets as well as the cabinets in our rooms need another wave of spring cleaning to remove clutter. The bathroom upstairs need plumbing. The maids' room need their door knobs fixed. I also feel the need to address the varied light bulbs across the entire house, which irks me from time to time. I need to dispose of my old sala set as well as old clothes to have more breathing space upstairs. The laundry area in front of the house needs tiles to make it a little more presentable and a little less messy. Maybe it is not a bad idea as well to start cleaning the pots and recultivate plants.

I never realized just how much maintenance work needs to be done in house until now. On one side, it overwhelms me to think of all these chores but it also excites me to think I have the time to do it now. I am now fancying a new and improved house, a home my family deserves, to be done by mid May.

So... where do I start? :)

Slowly

Let me adapt the intro of an article I recently read about job addiction:

"I am Joub. I am a workaholic. It's an addiction like any other. Except that if you have it, they pay you more. Actually, a lot more. I am recovering though. I have to. The Japanese have a word for the problem: karoshi --- meaning death from overwork. I am not talking about literal death. I am talking about death of a soul: a dependency on stress, aggravation, power, and control; an inability to think about anything but business deals, meetings, upcoming challenges; draining away of the joy we should feel about food, drink, family, love, sex and children."

I left work a little over a month. I broke down, or shall I say, I broke free. I freed myself from the ties that bound me with my profession and the rat race I have been running for the last eight years. I will spare you the reasons that drove me to LEAVE the company, but needless to say, the reasons were huge enough to make me let go of the hand that feeds me and my family, and finally decide to LIVE.

I am sobering up now. But the path to recovery ain't easy. It is filled with struggles like withdrawal syndrome, boredom, anxiety, feeling of uselessness, fear of the future, and pressure from the people I left in the field. So as not to succumb to any of it, I live my life one day at a time. I also surround myself with people I love and care for me. I exercise regularly and follow a healthier diet to flush all the stress and toxins I've collected through the years. I also try, once in a while, to be alone and get comfortable with silence and the state of non-thinking. I also keep a notebook handy to help me organize my thoughts; write down everything I plan to straighten up in my life and rebuild dreams for the future.

I hope to be well soon. I pray that if and when I choose to go back to work, I will not forget the learnings I got from this phase of my life.

Anew

To stop...
the world from falling
the rubble from piling
the anxiety from building
the routine from ruling
the clock from imposing
the moments from passing
the sleep from fleeting
the love from fading
the passion from failing
the will from ailing
the heart from breaking
the self from losing

... to start anew.